The Things I Carry (2024)
The Things I Carry is a video installation that provides a glimpse into the experiences of navigating girlhood online from the perspective of a fangirl from her early tween years into adulthood. It serves as both a personal reflection and a communal expression, depicting the physicality and weight of these collective experiences of both the fangirl media culture and the contemporary digital culture consumed at the given time symbolically as items in a bag. Despite the differences, the themes of girlhood remain present and parallel in both the tween to teen and adult experience. Additionally, this project is a testament to my lifelong dedication to unraveling the multifaceted nature and complexities of girlhood online and observing this phenomenon of returning and embracing girlhood as a whole in response to the constraints and expectations of patriarchal standards imposed on the notion of womanhood.
As much a narrative as it is a conversation, The Things I Carry is also a moment of reflection for me. The installation holds a multitude of meanings, emphasizing the often overlooked significance of the abundance of love fangirls have to give and the fandoms and people they project it on and where that kind of love may go and lead to. As a full time fangirl myself, this journey of intense love has led to meaningful encounters with others who share similar affections where, at the end of the day, our shared passion stems from a desire to be heard and seen. Through our connections with one another, we fulfill this need, finding validation and understanding within our fandoms and the relationships they cultivate. As both a critique and celebration, the project showcases a mix of the passion, dedication and obsession, all which stem from a deeply rooted background of media consumption and relatability through digital popular culture.
The Things I Carry showcases a set design composed of recycled toys, bags, and donated prints, symbolizing the tangible artifacts of nostalgia and the surrealism of girlhood enhanced by techniques such as projection mapping and 3D scanning and printing. I wanted the installation to evoke a feeling of familiarity to fangirls, but also have this touch of whimsicalness and drama, especially through how the heart is bursting through the posters taped on the wall. Utilizing Resolume Arena, a variety of media is projected onto these elements, compiling the kind of media consumed and reflected sourced from platforms like TikTok and YouTube, alongside other pop culture references and my personal project, my webseries Mango Cherry.
Documentation & Inspiration
Drawing inspiration from my online prototype <>
3D scanned and printed models of my hands!
Testing weight <>
Playing with layout design <>
2AM grind <>
Painting the heart <>
Moodboard
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Heavenly Bodies Live Performance (2024)
Heavenly Bodies was a live performance taken place at Weise7 in Berlin that integrated TouchDesigner and Ableton. This project drew its inspiration from the aura of pretentiousness and exclusivity pervasive in Berlin's club culture, likening the experience to gaining entrance into a celestial realm. Divided into three distinct parts, Heavenly Bodies mirrored the journey through Berlin’s most famous nightclub, Berghain. It commenced with the anticipation and scrutiny akin to judgment day as patrons waited in line (Judgment Day Chapter), transitioned into the chaotic yet exhilarating atmosphere within the club (Testimony Chapter), and concluded with introspection on the worthiness of the experience and the sacrifices made to gain entry (Verdict Chapter). Central to the narrative was an exploration of the concept of gaze, where in appearances dictated access, and certain aesthetic norms were enforced to determine who could partake in the experience and who could not.
Documentation & Inspiration
My friend Annika working on the sound design <>
Trouble-shooting!
Getting rejected at Berghain!
Religious Advice!
Next club destination!
A lucky friend who had to abandon her group to gain access <>
What’s In My Bag? (Prototype)
As part of my ongoing thesis research, What’s In My Bag? is an online interactive exhibit prototype that explores the complex nature and exploration of navigating girlhood online through the perspective of a fangirl. This particular project centers around fangirl behavior and the tendency to obsess, hyperfixate and project one’s wildest fantasies. As you explore the items in each of these bags, you will catch a glimpse into the rooted nature of why fangirls act the way that they do.
Imelda versus Imelda Zine (2022)
An art project I designed in my senior year of college that focuses on FilAm (Filipino-American) roles during the Marcos Regime that took place in the 1970s to 1980s. The zine is designed in a diary-like format that is told in the perspective of a Filipino teenage girl living in the United States while chaos erupts overseas in her homeland. To make matters worst, she is named after the very woman she hates the most; the one who took part in the scandalous affairs and declaration of Martial Law in the Philippines: Imelda Marcos, hence the title of the zine Imelda Versus Imelda.
